Bancuri

[jkno]

Un batranel se uita la penisul lui si zice: -Bine mai nesimtzitule, ne nastem impreuna si murim pe rand?!



Doua blonde stau de vorba. Prima: Ai auzit ca ungurii o au cea mai lunga? A doua: Ai auzit ca mexicanii o au cea mai groasa? Bula prin apropiere se opreste si asculta discutia.. Una din blonde il observa si il intreaba: Tu cine mai esti? Bula: SZABO GONZALES

[Raith Krace]

A survey was recently conducted on why men enjoy blow jobs so much. The results revealed that 10 percent of men like the physical feeling, 12 percent like the dominance, and 78 percent like the 5 minutes of silence.

[Raith Krace]

“Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady,” a young boy said to his mother.


“Well, you did the right thing,” his mother replied.


“But Mom, I was sitting on Dad's lap.”

[Ayrin Silath]

A woman who was pregnant with triplets was caught in the crossfire at a bank robbery and shot three times in the stomach. An operation was too risky so the bullets were never removed.


Sixteen years later, two of the girl triplets go crying to their mom. “We were peeing and a bullet came out,” they say.


So the mother explains what had happened years earlier. The next day, the boy triplet starts crying.


“Let me guess,” the mother says: “you were peeing and a bullet came out?'


“No,” he replies: “I was touching myself and I shot the dog.”

[Raith Krace]

A man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest.


"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” he said. “During World War II, I hid a refugee in my attic."


"Well," said the priest. "That's not a sin."


"But I made him agree to pay me $20 for every week he stayed," the man explained.


"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause," the priest replied.


"Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind,” the man said. “I have one more question, though."


"What is that, my son?" the priest inquired.


"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"

[ogicajedaiu]

Uitati niste bancuri de pe vremea lui Ceasca:


Manifestatie mare, mare. Lumea striga:
- Ceausescu, PCR! Ura! Ura!
Unul singur, mai amarat, sta mai in spate si nu spune nici un
cuvant. Un "om de ordine" se apropie de el si il intreaba:
- Ce faci, tovarase, de ce nu strigi ura?
- Sunt ragusit, raspunde cel interpelat, dar ura e aici, in suflet.



- Tovarasa profesoara, am vazut azi noapte un munte de branza pana la
Dumnezeu ...
- Bula, nu te-am invatat ca Dumnezeu nu exista?
- Da ce, branza exista?

Studentul arab se scuza ca a intarziat la cursuri:
- Sa vedeti, a stat pe loc tramvaiul ca trecut tov. Ceausescu cu
camasa in gura!
- Cum cu camasa in gura?
- Pai, asa zice tot omeni din tramvai: Uite-l, iar trece, cucamas in
gura lui!

Bula fuge in Occident. Un ofiter il intreaba:
- De ce ati adus cu dvs. bulinele astea rosii?
- Contra bronsitei.
- Si astea albe?
- Contra reumatismului.
- Dar astea mititele?
- Contra sinuzitei.
- Dar ce e cu fotografia asta a lui Ceausescu?
- Contra dorului de tara!

- Bula, la cati ani ai fost condamnat?
- 15 ani, sa traiti!
- Dar ce-ai facut?
- Nimic, sa traiti!
- Minti, Bula! Pentru nimic se dau 5!

- Bula, ce e tatal tau?
- Activist de partid.
- Si mama?
- Nici ea nu munceste.

Bula ii zice lui Nicu Ceausescu:
- Zii, ma, lu' tactu sa lungeasca programul la televizor cu doua ore!
- I-am zis, dar mi-a raspuns ca n-are ce sa vorbeasca patru ore pe zi
, i-ajung doua!


Bula l-a injurat pe Ceausescu si ajunge la puscarie. Intr-o
zi, mama-sa vine cu un pachetel la vorbitor.
- Cum e, Bula? E rau de tot?
- Nu, mama, merge...
- Mancarea cum e?
- Avem de trei feluri, de doua ori pe saptamana si ceva carne...
- Dar caldura?
- Merge... Noi venim de la munca, ne spalam repede si intram in
pat...
- Dar lumina?
- Noaptea se stinge, insa e avantajul ca ne culcam devreme si dormim
mai mult...
- Bulisor, mama, sa fii cuminte, sa nu faci vreo prostie, sa te dea
astia afara...

Bula iese de la examenul de Socialism Stiintific
- Ura, am scapat!
- Cat ai luat?
- Patru.
- Atunci de ce te bucuri?
- Bine ca nu m-au arestat!

Cica in timpul perioadei comuniste, toti romanii si-ar fi
dorit construirea unei autostrazi Bucuresti - Bonn , cu patru benzi, trei
pentru dus si una pentru depasire.

[artanix]

Am ras la ala al lui Serge cu SZABO GONZALES de m`am pisat pe minee

[bluesky89]

I. Cum se numeste un barbat caruia ii lipseste 90% din creier?
R. Castrat.

[ogicajedaiu]

Ma simt ofensat Esti femeie cumva,bluesky?

[obi1]

Ca in bancul ala:
Se naste un neuron in capul unui barbat:
Neuron 1:Sunt singur aici?
De odata apare altul,care il intreaba:
Neuron 2:Ba prostule,de ce nu vi jos cu ceilalti?

[Gonzo]

ala a lu' obi1 am facut pe mine LOL e super

[Raith Krace]

Hei lasati fata in pace, are atitudine

[Fan-Vader]

Raith... tipul nu e fata... stiu ca numele lui suna ambiguu dar nu e fata

[ogicajedaiu]

Cred ca ne-a parasit tipul ala...dupa verdictul final al lui mandy

Un om mergea cu trenul prin Moldova . Cu el in compartiment un moldovean. Se apropie de gara Oituz si omul nostru deschide fereastra sa vada gara.. Moldoveanul din spate:
- Marashesti.. . Omul nostru:
- Oituz! Moldoveanul iara:
- Marashesti!
- Ba-i Oituz! La care moldoveanul infuriat:
־ ‘nchide ba giamul ca ma rashesti!....

[Raith Krace]

A man arrives in Hell and is met by the Devil. He is told he can choose from three different types of torture that run in 1,000-year cycles. In the first room, there’s a man hanging upside down being whipped.


“No, thank you,” says the man.


The two then proceed to the second room, where another man is being beaten with a stick. Again the man turns down this room.


In the third room, there’s a naked man strapped to a wall getting a blowjob from a beautiful blonde. The man immediately shouts: “I’ll start here!”


“Are you sure?” asks the Devil: “Remember, this lasts for eternity.”


After the man assures the Devil this is his chosen torture, Satan turns to the blonde and says: “You can go now – I found your replacement.”

[Fan-Vader]

genial

[DonCorleone]

Incredibil, ce tare este bancul ala

[Gonzo]

Cat de tare e asta a lui Raith